To Learn To Love Yourself
by Lovely-Dark-Shadows
Summary: "I just hate gays. You don't need to know my reason." "And you honestly think your straight?" Questioned Izaya, "I'll just have to show you how bent you really are..." IzayaxOC Yaoi Warning
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own Durarara! Blackary however is all mines! And I would appreciate it if you didn't use him without asking :)**_

**~Prologue~**

I'm going to make this really clique for you.

This is the story of a boy named Blackary Karhs, also known as Blake. When he began the first chapter of his life in Ikibukuro, he was lost; body and soul. He was afraid to be who he really was inside, and was buried under, parent infused prejudices, which clouded every step he made. Things became so stressful in his life that that he let the dangerous claws of drugs, sink into his skin, and wisk him away from reality.

He didn't know who he was or who he wanted to be.

He knew what he supposedly _should _be; His parents drilled it into his head every day of his life. He was to be a man of faith, a man of principles, a man who could stand before God and say, "I've followed you all my life and live by your rules. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I'm not gay; take me to your kingdom."

That may have been what his parents wanted for him, but it was so outrageously far from where he was, it wasn't even worth dreaming about. Blackary shot up heroin and had his fair share of alcohol. The only thing keeping his head above water was the notion that he wasn't gay; and he wanted to stay that way for as long as he lived and _after_. To Blackary, becoming one of _them _was the worst thing that could happen to him; it would be the last straw. Whenever he came a across one, they managed to make his life more of a hell then it was before. His parents claimed that gays were devil children, and life seemed to go on _just_ to prove them right.

So let me ask you this.

How does an emotionally wrecked, homophobic, 17 year old _boy_, fall in love with a sociopathic 23 year old _man_? Although, I guess the better question would be how an uncaring, sociopathic man, can fall in love with such a boy. There tale is rough, but cute in way. The story of Izaya and Blackary...

It really is quite interesting.

**Authors Note-**

**Hey~ this was just something I thought up when I was creating a new character (Blackary) for my collection! I've never actually created a male before so it's no wonder he turned out to be gay -_- I'm not sure how many people would be interested in something like this, but I thought I'd put it out here to see what the response would be!**

**Tell me what you think in a review, even if you hated it, or the idea! I really want to know what went on inside your brain when you read it :P Should I continue? Should I Not? Should I just jump off a cliff? Let me know!**

**Thank You Much,**

**Lovely-Dark-Shadows**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own Durarara! Although Blackary is all mine :)**_

**Asuna:**

Thanks for taking the time to review and saying you loved it! I hope this chapter is ok and that you continue to review :D

**Asuma **

Here's the chapter! Don't be sad :( Don't worry~ Be happy~ :)

**melodyhina123 **

I will definitely be continuing this! I'm glad I've captured your interest and I hope I can keep it!

**Erika Karisawa's New Sidekick **

Thanks for the support, happy you liked it, and that you took the time to review such a short little piece of nothing :P

_To Learn To Love Yourself_

**Chapter 1: Pent up Aggression**

It was the second to last day of school and everyone in the classroom was either bouncing off the walls or sucking up to the teacher in a last ditch effort for a good grade. One stood out from the others though, his name was Blackary Karhs, and he stood in a far off corner in the class room surrounded by two guys who looked like they were high off pixie sticks.

"Blake, can you believe it?" Exclaimed one of the boys, who had blonde hair, and was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans.

Blackary just shook his head, to show that he was listening, even though he wasn't.

The second boy, with brown hair and a black skull shirt and jeans, leaned on the wall next to Blake and threw an around his shoulder. "You really need to lighten up dude! High schools almost over, which means it's almost time for us to hit the road to Tokyo!"

Blake gave a closed mouth laugh, "You _do_ know were flying there right, Jordan?"

"Well-I shut up!" Jordan used the arm that was around Blake's shoulder to hold him still while he used his other hand to give Blake a noogie.

Jordan laughed as Blackary pulled on his arm, trying to escape the hair frizzing torture. "Cut it out!" Blake yelled as he kneed his best friend in the thigh. Jordan immediately let go, in favor of nurturing his abused upper leg. He then stuck his tongue out at Blake before turning to the blonde boy next to him, "Watch out Cole, Blake's gone AWOL."

The blonde haired boy, now known as Cole, just rolled his eyes and pat Blake on the shoulder, "Don't worry man, I would have done the same thing…"

Jordan's mouth dropped in disbelief, "Hey! Don't support the abuser!"

"You're the abuser…" Blake mumbled under his breath.

"I just gave you a noogie!"

"You messed up my hair."

"And that's abuse?"

"Yes."

Jordan sighed in exasperation, "Whatever Blake, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I would think you'd be happy that where getting out of this place. Away from your parents, away from school…away from Spencer."

Blackary flinched at the name, and turned his ahead away from Jordan. Cole squeezed Blake's shoulder, "Don't think about that asshole Blake, he's nothing but a creep."

"Who's nothing but a creep?"

Blackary's head whipped around towards the voice and his face visibly paled. Cole crossed his arms and glared at the man now standing before them, and Jordan straitened up to do the same.

"You are, Spencer!" Cole stated as he took a step towards the tall man known as Spencer.

Jordan took a step backwards to be near Blake, "Also known as asshole, asshole!

Spencer glared at them and took a step towards Cole and the blonde haired boy got a little worried. Spencer may be in the same grade as them, but he was extremely tall, reaching up to 6"1 and was built to be a pro boxer. He has black hair and dark eyes, only adding to his menacing look. So you could imagine what he could do to these boys who were only ranging up to 5"5.

Blackary, who was unfortunately stuck in a corner, was thankful that he had friends like Cole and Jordan do something about Spencer, because he just did not have the drive to fight him anymore. Ever since the beginning of middle school, Spencer has always had an interest in Blake. First it was a bulling interest, but then it turned into a romantic interest. Although, there was nothing _romantic_ about it.

When Spencer asked Blake out it was a no from the beginning, for the sole purpose that Spencer was...Well…a guy! And the mere thought of going out with any type of guy just made Blake want to hurl. And even if Blake _was_ interested in Spencer, the way he talked to Blake was just disgusting. Spencer never asked what Blackary liked or if he wanted to date, no, it was always things like, "Why don't you follow me upstairs" or "The bathrooms empty, want to join me" or even "If you nervous don't worry, I've got experience." It was revolting!

Blackary actually might have been able to handle Spencer, if it weren't for the fact that Spencer wasn't just all talk. Spencer had locked him in the bathroom with him many times and tried to get him to have sex. Or when Spencer passes him down the hall he gets too close for comfort or touches him inappropriately.

He was one of the main reasons Blake was going all the way to Tokyo, just to spend his summer in peace.

Blake noticed the classroom had gone silent and that all eyes were on him, Cole, Jordan and Spencer. He tried to sink himself more into the corner, in hopes of appearing invisible, to the class, and to his harasser, but was met with no such luck as Spencer chose that moment to tilt his head and stare straight at Blake.

"Well, if it isn't Blackary Karhs! What a surprise that you would grace me with you _presence_!" Spence said the last word threateningly as he took another step forward. "It's been so hard to get a minute with you ever since the end of Middle School Blake. Ever since you got your dumbass body guards!" Spencer put both his hands on Jordan's shoulders and pushed him away from Blake, making him tumble to the floor. Blake flinched and his breathing labored. He wanted to go and help Jordan, or punch Spencer in his sneering face, but it felt like his body weighed a ton. Fortunately, Cole was a good body guard and was on top of Spencer like no body's business. The blonde boy jumped onto Spencer's back and hooked his arms around his throat, successfully cutting off his air supply.

The class gasped, some saw what this was turning into and went to get a teacher, but most of the classroom pumped their fists, rooted, and made bets.

Spencer brought his arms up and wrenched unsuccessfully at Coles vice grip on his neck. When he couldn't get an enraged Cole to let go, he backed up hard into a wall, making Cole take the impact. Cole held on even tighter now and Spencer was seeing black spots. Jordan was still dizzy from his fall knocking his head against the hard flooring, and Blake was afraid that Cole was really going to get hurt. So he threw away his fear and held onto his rage as he pulled all his force into kicking Spencer in the calve. The large teenager cried out and dropped to one knee giving Blackary the opportunity to sucker punch him in the stomach.

"Cole, let go of Spencer! I've got it!" Blake called out.

Cole nodded and gave one last harsh squeeze, making Spencer cough, before letting go and dropping to the floor. Spencer rubbed his neck and glare at Blake, thinking about strangling _him_. Fortunately or unfortunately, Blake got to him first.

"Think fast!" Blake yelled, before thinking of all the hate he held for Spencer and punched him between the eyes, knocking him out.

Blake watched Spencer fall face first onto the floor and he took in a shaky breath before dropping unceremoniously onto his butt. Cole just stared at him in disbelief, wondering where the fragile Blackary Karhs went.

The truth was that he hadn't gone anywhere. He just chose to switch his fear with rage for a second or two. Blackary didn't like fighting and he doubted he would ever be able to do that again. I guess all that pent up aggression over the last 4 years just finally unloaded. What was really odd though was that everything was so clear in the moment, like he was looking through a magnifying glass. His head was always so fuzzy with the certain drugs he took that it was rare when he could think so clearly.

The class room was silent once again, but only for a second as cheers suddenly broke out, and money was handed over. The couple students, who left, finally came back with help in the form of a principle and a nurse. The nurse had a couple students take Spencer to the nurse's office, and the principle sent Cole and Blake to the front office, while the nurse checked up on Jordan, before deeming him fine, and sending him up as well.

It was basically like anytime they got in trouble. A bunch of teachers got together to scold them, made them call their parents to pick them up, and then had them sit in the office while teachers passing by gave them disappointed faces. All in all, the trio was just glad to be the hell away from Spencer.

Blackary's Mom ended up picking them all up, because Cole and Jordan's parents were too busy with work. When they got to Blake's nice sized 2 story house, they were surprised to be let off the hook! Although, once they heard the reasoning behind the decision, it wasn't so surprising…

His mother, Mia, is strictly prejudice against gay's and apparently she knew that Spencer was a, as she put it, "a fag", so she didn't blame them for defending themselves and beating him up. Although, she was sick with worry that Spencer might know where they lived (which he did) and come after them (which he would) and turn them to the "Dark Side" of being gay (Which was unlikely).

Blake's mother had ranted about that one topic for about an hour until Cole finally stepped in.

"Excuse me?"

Mia stopped talking and focused her attention on him.

Cole smiled kindly, "I can see that you're really worried about this whole mess, and I think I've got a solution!"

You could see instantly that Mia was all ears.

"You already know that me, Blake and Jordan were planning to go to Tokyo after school was over with, but after the whole Spencer thing I get the feeling that we should probably leave first thing in the morning. That way were all happy, what do you say?"

Mia thought about it for a second before a grin spread across her face, "I say that's a wonderful Idea! I'll talk to your parents as well as Jordan's and have them bring over your suitcases so you guys can spend the night. And I'll drive you all there you there at 1:00am since your flight leaves at 2:30am, yes?

Cole grinned, "Yep~"

Mia clapped her hands happily, and told the boys to go chill out in Blake's bed room, and that she would bring them, cookies.

Blake's mom could get really overworked with little details, and Cole was good at compromising, so Blake and Jordan were always convinced that Mia liked Cole more than either of them. He knew new had to talk his way out of bad situations, and that's really all there was to it.

The next morning they had groggily gotten up at 1:00am and made their way to the airport.

"Bye Boys~" Mia called out as she waved at them trough her car window, watching Blake, Cole and Jordan head into the airport. They all waved back as his car rolled away.

"So, guys," Blake said, "I know you guys have lived in Tokyo before, but wasn't that in Shinjuku and only for a year?"

Jordan nodded, "Cole and I went to Shinjuku in middle school, but this time we're going to Ikebukuro!"

"How are we supposed to find are way around if we don't know our surroundings?"

Cole rolled his eyes, "You worry too much! Besides, were not _that_ stupid. We have a friend there, his name is Masaomi, and he'll be meeting us when we land! He knows the place pretty well so we should be fine."

Blake sighed and took at seat on one of the not too comfy airport chairs, "If you say so…"

Jordan and Cole nodded, "And we do!"

When the boys got on the plane, Blake was surprised to discover something amazing. With all the adrenaline and things happening one after the other, he hadn't even _thought_ of Heroin.

Simply amazing.

**Authors Note-**

**So, what'd you think? I got 4 reviews on that stupid little prologue so I just had to write this XD Thank you so much for the support and I absolutely love the reviews! I'm not sure when I'll update next, but keep an eye out ;) **


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